Kevin



Angels sang in the heavens the first time Jay met Kevin; buddies through and through. Or course their friendship wouldn't have blossomed (well, maybe) if it weren't for the brotherhood of a certain "Unnamed" Colgate fraternity. And who says things don't happen for a reason, hmm?
From the tales on the bathroom wall, I've read that those closest to Kevin (minus his Wife, probably) have bestowed upon him an endearing nickname that has weathered the storms of twenty-something life. He received it while living out his fraternal days… as a large percentage of the greatest nicknames are fashioned within that time.
Kevin was well known within his frat for having long, arduous conversations in the shower-room; the most intimate of places. Kevin knows that to be a good friend, listening and honesty are important- and where else in the world can a person feel most exposed and eager for honesty then in the open Shower? And when the going got tough, and a brother needed a chat, they knew just where to find reliable-Kevin. Of course, being the respectful, courteous man that he is (and was, back in the day) he could be often found draped in a full-length towel, hiding his 'essentials' from the naked world. Boys being boys, of course, they did not see Kevin's consideration and therefore likened him to a right-proper 'Queen,' thus the nickname was born.
After the high jinx of collegiate life ended, Kevin traveled to New York City, where he helped his comedy partners hone their talent. Armed with quick wit and a sharp sense of 'funny', Queen ventured beyond the skit-stage, searching for the life of a cinematic extra. He auditioned for commercial after commercial, only to be beat out time and again by the same actor. Queen later proved justice can prevail when this 'actor' was cast is a small role in the movie "Super Troopers" as the driver in the "Meow" scene.
When it came time to pull Kevin's head from the stars, they enlisted him to co-write the scripts for "Puddle Cruiser," "Super Troopers," and "Club Dread," banking on his excellent repartee to help them make the best movies they possibly could. But, of course, this was after he succeeded in making a hell of a splash in the movie "No Looking Back" (1998) and screenwriting "Divine Trash" in 2000.
Queen, being a multi-faceted man, has not only helped in the writing of the Broken Lizard movies, but also in editing, acting, and casting! For those of you Heffernan-a-maniacs out there, keep an eye out… you just might find one or two of his family members peeking out at you on screen!
Today, Kevin can be found in his lush rose-garden at home, smiling happily while standing over the grill- tending to succulent steaks for himself and his family, wearing a chef's apron with the line "Come Kiss the Cook" printed across it. The only word that comes to mind is "Serenity."




Jay Steve Paul Erik


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