The most illusive on my jaunt through the maddening World Wide Web, is none other than Mr. Paul "Mysterio-so" Soter. Is he the topnotch playboy he appears to be? Or perhaps a dashing young spy in disguise? I delved deeply into the very heart of Webland, through the multitude of "Ode to Brittany" sites and endless pop-up porn ads, in search of the very thing that makes Paul tick, only to find that- yes, ladies, he really is that handsome enigma he so readily portrays in film and life…
Paul truly is the epitome of what my undergrad Creative Writing professor slurred to me that fateful finals day… "Leave 'em wanting more…" he does that in spades.
From what I gather, Agent Soter 005 (as I have taken to calling him) did attend Colgate University with the rest of his Charred Goosebeak/Broken Lizard amigos as well as perform onstage in New York, readily using his dangerously sharp wit and astounding ability for on the spot hilarity. With a quick, well-timed glance, he could send the crowds to their feet, thunderous with applause; roses crash to the ground around him.
It was the time beyond the stage that left me questioning the identity of Paul Soter. What kept his days full while living in New York, pre-movie fame? What about after the filming began? My research has left me with unanswered questions and too many fruitless leads to ponder. Using the best of my notes, I attempted to put the Soter-jigsaw pieces together, and these are just a few of the Soter-possibilities:
a. In his spare time, a Mr. R. Paul Soter (added the R for Rights- as in justice prevails), finished undergrad to quickly move onto graduate school in search of a higher degree in Law. Currently a lawyer in the quaint, rural town of Los Angeles, California, Paul is dedicating his life to making sure that his town will never be anything more than wholesome, safe, and full of freedom.
b. To separate his two blooming acting careers, Paul changed his last name for all of his non-Broken Lizard projects. Known for his rugged good looks and excellent tan (must be from filming in Mexico), Paul's successful second acting life includes such films as "The Fast and the Furious" (I and II), "She's All That," "Varsity Blues," and "Joyride."
c. Worried that acting wouldn't quite fulfill his desire for mystery and adventure, Paul took up fencing and quickly excelled. Worried that his fencing-fame would endanger the BL group dynamic, Paul stepped down from competing to become the national head coach. Currently, in whatever spare time he can muster, Coach Soter recruits ready-fencers for the 2003 Barcelona World Cup, in which the U.S. Men's Epee team will attempt to move from their rank of 10th in the world.
Luckily, there are still a few other facts out there that we do know… Suave Paul kept in touch with his conglomerate of college cohorts, agreeing to lend a hand in the production, acting, writing, and miscellaneous crew work (again, even the word "miscellaneous" breeds intrigue; Paul's life is an unending circle) of their future cinematic endeavors.
If luck were a lady (she'd understand the womanly urge to seek out and seduce our dashing Agent Soter), we'd find a silk-robed Paul in a posh rural hunt-club, enjoying a cold, dry martini, with a well-trained hound at his heels, while standing on the marble deck overlooking the endless grounds of well-cared for gardenias as the sun sets over distant trees; what else can we do but sigh dreamily, with the word "Debonair" leaking from our lips.